Sex, Lies, and Betrayal

Okay, mostly just lies and betrayal. I don't have much experience in the first category, but it does draw in readers. I mean, anyone who searched for sex in Google is now disappointedly reading this blog, but reading nonetheless. Welcome, pervy newcomers.

The intention of this post was to give an update to my faithful, and by now probably despairing readers, on the status of my successological journey. I hoped to provide a map for those starting on their journey, based on the long distances I have come. Alas, this was not to be. The Rocket has experienced a sort of misfire (not what you pervy newcomers are thinking) in his journey. One of my main tools of success recently attempted to wrest control of my name, my intellectual property, and ultimately my burgeoning empire. I suppose this is ultimately my fault. I got careless with the very methods I thought I had mastered.

I'm talking of course about outsourcing. This is a very common practice for companies and businesses, but I was pioneering outsourcing on a much more personal level. A friend of mine, we'll call him "Dan," had declared himself quite the fan of my work, and my stated life goals. Because I was so busy pursuing success in so many arenas, and I was familiar with his work on http://stopfiverecords.blogspot.com, I came up with a proposition: He would "ghost write" a few articles on this humble blog (based on information I had given him), and he would be allowed to post the work on stopfive, drawing what he assumed would be a much larger audience. The basics of that deal, I believe, were explained in the networking posts. The fact that he was writing the posts was intended to remain a secret until our dying days. But then a betrayal happened, the likes of which I have never experienced. I will quote Dan's post directly, for the benefit of my faithful readers:

"Oops, I guess I just confessed that I'm the Rocket. I figure most of you guessed that already."

So innocuously written. So playful and harmless. So wrong! I mean, what was he thinking?? Would the public really believe that a second rate blogger and generally repudiated halfwit would be capable of achieving even half of the success I've already achieved? Just foolish! Of course punitive measures have already been taken. He has been asked to return all of the Rocket's Super Nintendo games, and he is no longer welcome to the "Rocket's Moon Riders" Facebook group (which is secret but may soon go public). As for the post itself, Dan remains unapologetic. Apparently he is unfamiliar with the concepts of "intellectual property" and "copyrights." But, the crisis itself has been averted. He will no longer be welcome to write the Rocket's posts, hang out at the Rocket's house, or even walk the Rocket's dog. He may still be invited to do the Rocket's laundry.

Rest assured, dear readers, that I will emerge from this crisis stronger, faster, and better than ever. Who in their right mind would try to hold back a rocket? It can't be done. I learn from my few mistakes in order to strengthen my many successes. You can expect a much less controversial update on the happenings of my life in the next few days. I felt it was imperative at this time to deal with the matter at hand.

Thank you again for your patience and commitment.
Savour that thank you. It may be the only one the Rocket ever gives.