Rocket Rule #3

Networking

Connections are important. Barbara Streisand once said, "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world." This lovely sentiment is patently false. Those people are the sorriest people in the world. But people can be useful in your successological journey. Lets use a well worn analogy here and talk about the ladder of success. Sometimes, if you're not the Rocket, you'll find that the ladder in your slow, hard climb to the top is missing a rung. "What should I do," you ask yourself or, more likely, me. Well, "Never fear" I say, "people are here." Yes, those very same people who seem bent on destroying you can actually help you in your rise to the top. "How," you ask? Well, it's a little thing we in the success world like to call "Networking."


There are two different kinds of networking: Personal/social, and corporate. We'll talk about corporate networking first. This is where you or your organization exchange mutually beneficial favours with another organization. It's an "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" kind of arrangement. Example: I recently contributed a top 5 list to a favourite site of mine, "Stop Five Records." You can find the site at http://stopfiverecords.blogspot.com/ Now my work is making their site sooooo much better. And their visitors (such as they are) bring traffic to my site, thus helping raise awareness for my burgeoning success. You can see this kind of networking everywhere. It's why Santa Claus drinks Coke (and for the record I think he made the right choice there, Pepsi is disgusting).

Corporate networking can only get you so far. Especially if, like the Rocket, you don't have any recognizable brand or company to promote. I mean, the Rocket is a brand unto himself, but not until after he is launched. That's a metaphor. If you can figure it out, email me, and I'll start promoting whatever worthless crap you're selling. See, that's another example of networking. It's called the challenge, or "ante up" method of networking. It was developed and perfected by me. And it's copyrighted, so I'm afraid you can't use it. Too bad, it's a great idea.
Moving on. . .

Personal networking is fantastic. I liken it to making friends, without all the emotional baggage. It's basicallya respectable form of using people to get what you want. And it is a sensitive art. Being a great personal networker is like being a ninja with jedi skills. It's that difficult to master. Most people fail and just end up being clowns. And yeah, clowns are funny, but if you look carefully you'll notice that the clowns themselves are never laughing. And they're working in the circus, not the office next to yours. But such is the nature of the networking jungle. Let's take a look at an example, from the Rocket's own life, of personal networking.

Grade 12: I started dating this girl who was the yearbook editor at my high school. Now, for the past 2 years, there was this "most likely to" vote in the yearbook. And every year, good old Reggie won the "most likely to marry a robot" award. Weird. I think it was some kind of reference to Professor Frink from the Simpsons. So in grade 12, my "girlfriend" made sure I won the "most likely to win" category, which I made up for her. On the spot, because I'm sharp like that. You have to be sharp in my line of work. That was networking. I also dumped her the day after printing. Unrelated. She was tall.

As you can see, people can help you in life. Do you know someone who prints business cards? Get him on your side. Don't have a business? Doesn't matter! Business cards are essential for success. Your "friend" can have you set up in no time. Do you know someone who works the nightshift at some fast food restaurant? You may never have to buy dinner again. That's the power of networking.

I am fast running out of space and time here, so I will digress. In my next post, we'll talk about the difficult process of learning to be a networking ninjedi, and I'll provide some easy training methods for you to try.

A year remembered

It's been 11 months since my last post. This was intentional. I have some powerful enemies, and they started sniffing around my internet postings. Lest you think this is the only internet forum I contribute to, I must inform you that it certainly is not. I'm all over this little universe called the internet, diffusing my controversial ideas to the masses. Regardless, I had to lay low for a while, let the storms blow over. Plus I knew that a lonely, weary world would miss a luminary such as myself. Never fear people of earth, I have returned. Here is a list, in Top 5 form, of happenings since my last post.

1. Removal of employment from Canadian tire. I attempted to supercharge an outdoor heater by attaching it to a bevy of car batteries. No one was hurt, but my last 4 paychecks were returned to the establishment for damages.

2. Which caused the sale of my car. My 87 ford tempo is no longer part of the Rocket family.

3. A tumultuous internet relationship. She was from Montana. She liked riding horses and chatting to hot, intelligent guys such as myself. I lost interest. Seriously, I did. Don't believe the "Rocket travelled to Montana and totally got stood up" rumours. Not true.

4. A host of new "Rocket Rules" which will be posted on this site in due time. The book is coming along nicely, as is the plan. The book, of course, is part of the plan. Every successologist has a book.

5. The naming of my career and area of study: "Successology"

As you can see, I've been a busy bee/beaver. This blog has just been growing in heat and pressure, leading to the inevitable blog explosion, or "blexplosion" that is to come. This is a kind of allegory for the life of the Rocket.