This marks the beginning of a new feature section here on "The Rocket Rides Again." Those in the field of success can often learn much by studying those outside of their chosen field - i.e. by studying the unsuccessful. The library is a rich environment for studying such people. It is indeed a flourishing ecosystem of failure. The socially unaware and the remarkably mediocre seem to congregate at the library on a daily basis. And the Rocket gets an inside look at what not to do in his pursuit of glory.
"Now Rocket," you say, "that seems like an unfair assessment of the library's constituency. Surely many successful people also use the library." I tell you unequivocally that this is not true. Ask yourself this question reader: "How often do I go to the public library?" Follow it up with this question: "How successful am I?" I would argue that there is a direct correlation in our society between library visitation and success. Your life would probably prove it.
This section will evaluate the lives of some of the library's most dedicated patrons through the snapshots provided by my observations of, and interactions with them in my place of employment. I think that by this point in my journey I have learned enough about success to know what makes someone unsuccessful. I will use these observations in hopes of pointing my readers in the right direction, a direction that makes them not quite as successful as me.
I think that's a sufficient introduction. Stay tuned for "Person the World Forgot #1," which is coming soon.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Rocket Rule #4
Use the Robots to Your Advantage
Technology is everywhere. You can't get away from it. Most of it is useless, but some of it is utterly invaluable. Take for example, the internet. Because of this technological breakthrough, people all over the world can connect with each other and work together. Hopelessly lonely people suddenly get another shot at love. Advertisers have thousands of new, annoying ways to get in your face. And you get to read the most important blog of your life.
Of course, without the internet, we wouldn't have blogs to begin with. And you would be languishing in your home, by your hearth, choking on the dust from an ancient book. And you would be alone, with no one to cuddle you or give you the heimlich. Tragic. We lost so many good people that way. But now books no longer have the chokehold on our society they once did. You can now read in short, digital spurts thanks to the internet. Really, all technology has been doing for the last 100 years or so is trying to catch up to our pitifully short attention spans. And now finally we have success. But I digress.
Technology can and should be used to your advantage, if you are living in the world of success. Of course, the world of success is something you create for yourself using certain tools. Technology is one of those tools. We're all familiar with cellphones (I should hope). Cellphones are great tools. For example, I used my cellphone a couple of days ago to tell those suckers at the library I wouldn't be coming in to work as I had previous Star Wars marathon engagements. Now I know what you're all thinking: "What a totally predictable reason for the Rocket to skip work." To you who are thinking that, I would say, "Why don't you go ahead and watch another art school, coming of age bore-athon, and let me enjoy one of the greatest cinematic experiences of all time." Moving on . . .
Email. What a concept. I can send mail electronically to whomever I wish on whatever topic. So, for example, I can mail (via the internet), excerpts from my upcoming book to various publishers. Thanks to email I can also get wonderfully form-letter answers like, "Thanks for your contribution to (publishing company). We value your creative work and unique perspective. However at this time we regret to inform you that we are uninterested in pursuing the work you have submitted. [I found that line to be a little harsh] Thank you again for your time." Painful, but at least I didn't have to wait a week for some mugwamp in boots to stick the response in a little box in front of my mom's house. That's the beauty of email.
Two great technologies. Two very important weapons in the successologist's arsenal. But what if those two weapons suddenly became ONE WEAPON?? I speak, of course, of the Blackberry.
The Rocket is now the proud owner of a Blackberry.
And it's not one of those "Blackberry Pearls," which are designed for women and power babies. No, this is a thick and meaty piece of equipment. The kind that makes passersby think, "Why is that guy talking on his calculator?" This item serves two purposes:
1. Efficiency booster. One writer I've been reading refers to these little items as "steroids." They supercharge my efficiency. I can now talk to someone while texting them and emailing them at the same time. A three pronged rocket assault! That just can't be beat. I can now overwhelm my opponents with efficiency. And the big guys have to sit up and take notice when a now hypercharged Rocket goes shooting through their atmosphere. I can't lose!
2. Status Symbol. People respect a man with a chunky phone. Have you watched an 80's movie lately? Who are the power brokers in any 80's movie? The guys with the huge phones! We may have tried to convince ourselves that smaller is better, but who's kidding who? A larger than life man carries a larger than life phone. That's just a fact.
So let me encourage you, dear reader. Use the robots! They're here for you, and they haven't developed cognitive powers (to speak of). This Blackberry is taking the Rocket to the next level! What are you using to take you to the next level? Speaking of which, my old cellphone is or sale. Perhaps for $150 you can use a genuine Rocket artifact to take you to the next level.
Technology is everywhere. You can't get away from it. Most of it is useless, but some of it is utterly invaluable. Take for example, the internet. Because of this technological breakthrough, people all over the world can connect with each other and work together. Hopelessly lonely people suddenly get another shot at love. Advertisers have thousands of new, annoying ways to get in your face. And you get to read the most important blog of your life.
Of course, without the internet, we wouldn't have blogs to begin with. And you would be languishing in your home, by your hearth, choking on the dust from an ancient book. And you would be alone, with no one to cuddle you or give you the heimlich. Tragic. We lost so many good people that way. But now books no longer have the chokehold on our society they once did. You can now read in short, digital spurts thanks to the internet. Really, all technology has been doing for the last 100 years or so is trying to catch up to our pitifully short attention spans. And now finally we have success. But I digress.
Technology can and should be used to your advantage, if you are living in the world of success. Of course, the world of success is something you create for yourself using certain tools. Technology is one of those tools. We're all familiar with cellphones (I should hope). Cellphones are great tools. For example, I used my cellphone a couple of days ago to tell those suckers at the library I wouldn't be coming in to work as I had previous Star Wars marathon engagements. Now I know what you're all thinking: "What a totally predictable reason for the Rocket to skip work." To you who are thinking that, I would say, "Why don't you go ahead and watch another art school, coming of age bore-athon, and let me enjoy one of the greatest cinematic experiences of all time." Moving on . . .
Email. What a concept. I can send mail electronically to whomever I wish on whatever topic. So, for example, I can mail (via the internet), excerpts from my upcoming book to various publishers. Thanks to email I can also get wonderfully form-letter answers like, "Thanks for your contribution to (publishing company). We value your creative work and unique perspective. However at this time we regret to inform you that we are uninterested in pursuing the work you have submitted. [I found that line to be a little harsh] Thank you again for your time." Painful, but at least I didn't have to wait a week for some mugwamp in boots to stick the response in a little box in front of my mom's house. That's the beauty of email.
Two great technologies. Two very important weapons in the successologist's arsenal. But what if those two weapons suddenly became ONE WEAPON?? I speak, of course, of the Blackberry.
The Rocket is now the proud owner of a Blackberry.
And it's not one of those "Blackberry Pearls," which are designed for women and power babies. No, this is a thick and meaty piece of equipment. The kind that makes passersby think, "Why is that guy talking on his calculator?" This item serves two purposes:
1. Efficiency booster. One writer I've been reading refers to these little items as "steroids." They supercharge my efficiency. I can now talk to someone while texting them and emailing them at the same time. A three pronged rocket assault! That just can't be beat. I can now overwhelm my opponents with efficiency. And the big guys have to sit up and take notice when a now hypercharged Rocket goes shooting through their atmosphere. I can't lose!
2. Status Symbol. People respect a man with a chunky phone. Have you watched an 80's movie lately? Who are the power brokers in any 80's movie? The guys with the huge phones! We may have tried to convince ourselves that smaller is better, but who's kidding who? A larger than life man carries a larger than life phone. That's just a fact.
So let me encourage you, dear reader. Use the robots! They're here for you, and they haven't developed cognitive powers (to speak of). This Blackberry is taking the Rocket to the next level! What are you using to take you to the next level? Speaking of which, my old cellphone is or sale. Perhaps for $150 you can use a genuine Rocket artifact to take you to the next level.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Laying Low gets you Nowhere, but it keeps you out of Harm's way
And the record for longest title on the Rocket's blog goes to . . . This post! As you all well know, the Rocket likes to be succinct and witty in his titles, but this novella was necessary to convey the proper message. Life has been an exciting ride for the Rocket lately, full of action, adventure, and romance. Okay, mostly hopes of romance. Well, more like dreams of romance. But that's okay, I am not in the least deterred.
So here's the long overdue update on my life:
I have a new place of employment. It's a haven of peace and learning, a place where the Rocket can really spread his wings. It's called the public library. I assume that most of you have never been there. Your only source of learning is probably this blog. That's fine with me. I encourage you to never set foot in your local public library. It means less work for me.
"But Rocket," you ask, "how did you go from Canadian Tire all-star (2 months running) to librarian in such a short time?" Well, I can tell you that networking played a huge part in my step up in the employment world. One of the best networkers you may ever find on this earth is your mother. Remember that reality, Rocket readers. At any rate, my mother works for city council, which shares a building with the library. She pretty much went in there every day and told them about my many skills. In fact, it took her 54 days to list all of my skills in their entirety. Following such an impressive verbal resume, they were compelled to hire me as a "lending assistant," which essentially means putting the books people return in to the proper aisles.
So now I have a full time job, a classic 9-5 snooze fest. But I'm in the right place. How many great successes have spent much time around books? Einstein? Nobel? Bono? All avid readers. Of course the Rocket is already expanding his mind. I've found this great series called "Encyclopedia Brown." They're fantastic, and they require the reader to solve the mysteries before turning to the back to find out the answers. I'm 2 for 7 so far, but I've gotten those two in the last three that I've tried, so there's improvement. Let me just say that books are the stepping stones to success. Think of them as literal steps that you can climb. But don't actually try to make steps out of the books, especially books from the library. They fine you for that kind of thing. So the successological journey continues unabated.
In other news, the book is coming along nicely. I've shopped it around to a few online publishers. The response has been cautiously pessimistic, but not to worry. This mind is worth it's weight in gold. It's like I'm actually walking around with gold in my head, and I need to figure out a way to extract it without dying. This of course is the next step in my journey.
Stay tuned for more Rocket rules.
Comments are welcome, although they may be privately scoffed at.
So here's the long overdue update on my life:
I have a new place of employment. It's a haven of peace and learning, a place where the Rocket can really spread his wings. It's called the public library. I assume that most of you have never been there. Your only source of learning is probably this blog. That's fine with me. I encourage you to never set foot in your local public library. It means less work for me.
"But Rocket," you ask, "how did you go from Canadian Tire all-star (2 months running) to librarian in such a short time?" Well, I can tell you that networking played a huge part in my step up in the employment world. One of the best networkers you may ever find on this earth is your mother. Remember that reality, Rocket readers. At any rate, my mother works for city council, which shares a building with the library. She pretty much went in there every day and told them about my many skills. In fact, it took her 54 days to list all of my skills in their entirety. Following such an impressive verbal resume, they were compelled to hire me as a "lending assistant," which essentially means putting the books people return in to the proper aisles.
So now I have a full time job, a classic 9-5 snooze fest. But I'm in the right place. How many great successes have spent much time around books? Einstein? Nobel? Bono? All avid readers. Of course the Rocket is already expanding his mind. I've found this great series called "Encyclopedia Brown." They're fantastic, and they require the reader to solve the mysteries before turning to the back to find out the answers. I'm 2 for 7 so far, but I've gotten those two in the last three that I've tried, so there's improvement. Let me just say that books are the stepping stones to success. Think of them as literal steps that you can climb. But don't actually try to make steps out of the books, especially books from the library. They fine you for that kind of thing. So the successological journey continues unabated.
In other news, the book is coming along nicely. I've shopped it around to a few online publishers. The response has been cautiously pessimistic, but not to worry. This mind is worth it's weight in gold. It's like I'm actually walking around with gold in my head, and I need to figure out a way to extract it without dying. This of course is the next step in my journey.
Stay tuned for more Rocket rules.
Comments are welcome, although they may be privately scoffed at.
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